Ignatz's Icy Injury(1916)

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Plot Summary:Being an ex-Minister of Hosiery to the Siberian Monarch has its advantages. But it also has its disadvantages, and one of the main disadvantages was that the ex-minister had a very artistic and sensitive temperament which had to be gratified. The manner of gratification was hanging around the mansions of the Four Hundred. This might have been all right, but the minister ran afoul of an officer who couldn't appreciate artistic temperaments, and said officer actually struck the Baron. In addition, the Baron obtained a dollar from Reno Reggie under false pretenses, and this transaction later rebounded on the Baron under embarrassing circumstances. Anyway, the Baron was invited to the Rustlebucks' garden party, where he covered himself with distinction and cream puffs at the tea table. Even this might not have extinguished him socially, but the Rustlebucks gave a dinner at the Ice Palace, where the Baron's behavior caused his social career to be ended without a doubt. Suffice to say, that the law took a hand, the manager of the Ice Palace took a hand, and the cops took hold of both feet of the Baron. The ensuing scenes were painful in the extreme. The Baron got on a fourteen-story skyscraper and imagined he could run about on the edge of the building and defy the laws of gravity, but the laws of gravity would not be defied and the Baron fell off and struck himself in the dining room. The upshot of it all was that Reno Reggie got old Rustlebucks' daughter and the Baron got six months in the hospital among the chloroform and acid bottles. The only one who sent him flowers was Mama Rustlebucks, but these were poison ivy blossoms.