下雨了，下大雨了！闪电雷鸣，让我昏沉了一个下午的脑袋兴奋起来。
现在我很高兴，因为大雨下得那么豪迈，声音澎湃如潮，顷刻间吞没了世间所有的声响，肮脏和嘈杂。
我又看了一遍《鸟人》，看片尾那段对话。
——别担心，BIRDY，他们没法让我离开你。我不能出去，我办不到。他们得到了我们最好的了，BIRDY，我们两个都完了。对于我们自己的人生，我们什么都做不了。FUCK! 我曾那么肯定，做我自己，没有人能让我做我不想做的事。现在，我却在这里……他们让你退役，或者把你放在死伤名单里，不管你现在或是以前有多特别。我觉得自己像是一条没有人要的狗，你还记得那些狗吗？你知道吗，当弹壳打到我的脸上时，我能闻到肉烧焦的味道，那真疯狂，因为那味道闻起来还很甜，很熟悉……然后我发现是我的皮肤在燃烧。我甚至不能抚摸我的伤口。我甚至不知道我的长相。我不知道这些绷带下面是不是还是我，或是变成军队屠夫的脸， 老天，我不要一张拼凑的脸，我还是想要他是原来的艾尔，不是什么怪物。SHIT！他们那
操蛋的世界有什么好？我们就待在这里，我不要把绷带拿下来。我知道你为什么这样做了，BIRDY，你是对的。我们应该躲起来不跟任何人讲话， 而且常常，发疯，爬上墙，吐口水！像对面的疯子一样向他们丢屎。对，这才是我们该做的，这才是我们能做的。
——艾尔，有时候你真的很扯淡。
——是你吗？你说话了。真的是你！我不敢相信，再说一些别的。我不敢相信真的是你。你怎么决定要说话了？
——我没有决定，我不知道，它只是这样发生了。你需要我，不是吗？
——Don't worry,they can't make me leave you.I can't go out there.I couldn't make it.ok.they got the best of us,Birdy.we're both totally screwed up.we haven't had anything to do with making our own lives.fuck! i was always so damned sure about being myself……and how nobody was going to make me do anything i didn't want.and now,here i am.they finish you off with a discharge,or put you on a casualty list.it doesn't matter how special you are,or were.i feel like one of those dogs nobody wanted,remember?you know,when that shell went off in my face……i could smell burning flesh.and it was crazy……because the smell was so sweet,so familiar.then i realized that it was my own skin that was frying.and i couldn't even touch the pain.i don't even know what i look like anymore.i don't know if it's me under these bandages……or what some army-cutter thinks is me.jesus christ,i don't want a patched-up instant pity excuse for a face.i just want it to be AL under here.not som sewn-together freak mask.shit! what's so great about their fucking world anyway?we'll just stay here,and keep the hell out of it.i don't have to go get these bandages off.you see,i figured out what you're doing.birdy,you're right.we should just hild out,and not talk with anybody.and every so often,go crazy,and run up the wall,and spit!and throw shit at them,like the loony across the hall! yes,that's what we can do,that's what we can do.
——AL,sometimes you're so full of shit.
——was that you?it was!you talked! it's really you! i can't believe it,say something else.how come you decided to talk?
——i didn't decide,it just happened.i don't know.you needed me,didn't you?
在我们人生在世的这个屠宰场，无论战争年代，还是和平年代，总有许多力量试图毁灭我们，毁灭那小鸟一般娇嫩美好的年华、面孔或其他，美好……而“那些没能摧毁我们的，必将使我们变得更加强大”。
不一定能像艾尔这样把满腔的愤懑喷泄而出，虽然泄愤的话真的让人过瘾不已，而，一定能长久而清晰地记住的是BIRDY末了那句话，“i didn't have anything to say to him”。
保持着你的清醒、判断、孤独和坚强，沉默和反抗。
2010/8/4 昆明
高清
