［贴篇自己曾经写的激动文，，想念下我的Felicity~~］
Much have we loved you.
But speechless was our love, and with veils has it been veiled.
And ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
Until the hour of separation.
——Kahlil Gibran
Courteney Cox called it ‘the end of an era’ when talking ‘bout the closure of Friends at Oprah’s. I feel the same way now as the button on the position-monitor bar reached its end at this Episode 22, Season 4 of Felicity.
It has been more than 6 months and yet I could still remember the words I said, the resonance I felt about this tv series the first time I met this tenacious and incredibly adorable Felicity and her friends. I wrote blogs and emails to express my anticipation, my excitement and my ardent willingness to share. But when all gets to the end, it’s just become hard to articulate what I exactly feel. Things have changed so much in my life in the past 6 months. I don’t wanna make it sound abrupt or awkward that Felicity has brought senses of peacefulness, security, hope and insight etc. But, it does. And all the feelings deep from heart are far more beyond my plain words.
Yet still some things need to be explicit. I’ve been thinking a lot how to describe the tender scenes, the O.Henry plot, the delicate music and the master-hand like montage. But I just realized that maybe the only part I’m able to pick up is those vivid characters as well as the love and stories happening in their college life. Yes, it’s just college.
‘To think ‘bout college, the thing is there’s something cruel about it. Yeah, I mean you don’t know anyone when you get there. But then, all of a sudden, you found yourself making connections, making friends and dating people. There’s something incredible about it like anything is possible. And you get years through that, you get used to it. But the thing is it’s not real. Because when graduation comes, whatever you are working towards, whatever your plans are, just pulls you away. If you are having a difficult time with friends of yours, you don’t have college to rely on, to keep you together.’
This was the comment Felicity made when she was faced with Noel’s graduation, the one who had always been there for her and raised her up whenever she was down, the one who was more than an R.A, a big brother and the best friend, the one once was her love.
So there are misunderstandings, stupid mistakes, heartbreaks, tears, bleeding, cuts and bruises, fights, jealousy, fear, regrets, confusion…
There are also care, sacrifice, responsibility. forgiveness. consolation, faith, support and… love.
With Family.
Felicity: Look, Dad, I know what u are saying.
Dad: Good
Felicity: And I know it seems to u like, I'm floundering.
Dad: Yes.
Felicity: But the fact is I'm in the honors of art program and this is the class very important to me. I mean this is my life. And I just feel like i have to make my own choices, even if some of them ARE mistakes. It's not like that i am on some time schedule.
When your parents went through middle-life crisis, it made things drift away from you at the same time. And suddenly you found that you were not the kid protected under their arms any more, in stead, you were supposed to be there for them. Even when they turned out to be so worried about your future and wanted to interfered your so called ‘mess’ life, even when you declared your independence out of your pride and career path you held, they still supported as you fell, they cheered as you succeeded. Everybody makes mistakes, parents are just part of them. The only thing matters is that they love you and you love them, so much.
With Fiends.
You know you fight and then you forgive. You’ve just been there, always ready to be supportive, always ready to help either in way of donating an egg to the gay couple or a spell to revenge betrayal on love. It’s just that simple. You laugh together, you cry together, you grow up together.
Friendship is spattered all over Felicity just like the way how it’s woven into our life and it ends up that I don’t know what to pick out of all the lines.
With Love.
And when guys break up with you, they always use the cliche that 'I don't want to hurt you. That's the last thing I wanted to do'...yes, the exact words.
Felicity, the lovelorn, after chasing the guy she loved to NY, after all the breakups and getting back together, after four years of sweetness, bitter and pains, found what she really wanted.
‘That's what love is, risking a part of yourself.’
I can’t remember what the exact circumstance is when Felicity said that. But this was all she was doing, waiting for the guy Ben, who was kinda immature and unperceptive.
After all the things they’d been through, there was always a dawn on the horizon with the one you love waking up right beside you.
After his father’s surgery, holding Felicity’s hand when they walked out of the hospital, Ben said that it’s not about the thing that they are the best student, it’s just they care.
Ben: Sometimes I think u should be with someone else, sometimes I think u should be with Noel.
Felicity: Ben, I wanna be with you.
Noel, the one who had spent the past three and half years of his life waiting for someone who wants to be with someone else. Actually he’s kinda guy most of the girls dream of yet maybe the pathetic part is that they have to figure this out till the last minute, just like Felicity.
‘She loves u, not me. You guys love each other, and u should be together.’
See, how cute the guy is.
It's amazing that things just don't work out the way you think they are. He sighed before Felicity the day before his wedding to another girl.
With Future.
‘It's hard to articulate this thing that I'm afraid of, the future.
I mean why should we be so afraid of the future. It's just time, isn't it?’
At graduation, Felicity told Ben that:
All the day I've been thinking about is go with Ben, follow Ben. It's all I want to do. It's follow u. Sometimes I think I follow u everywhere. But I can't.
Well, it ends up Ben followed her to Palo Alto.
‘I need to find my own direction and what my own life is. But I want to find that out with you.’
So this is it. This is how they work all the tough things out. Stand firm in front of all the difficulties and communicate out of care and love.
There're tears, there're heartbreaks. Life sometimes gets ugly and drastic. And you do feel lost from time to time.
But somehow you know everything's gonna be fine, everything's gonna be ok..
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