说到做英国人不容易啊无论去到哪个国家的博物馆都会感到罪恶，"you have no idea what that feels like, you will, oh you will, one day all the shame will be yours, my american friends"
"voting drunk make you more rightwing, i didnt see that coming!"
Bush 's new justification for the war in Iraq: GOD TOLD him TO IT. "if you wondering how many balls it takes to say a sentence like that. it takes 3 balls. you actually need an extra ball. Fortunately, this president has that extra ball and he's willing to use it in a time of war."
He's invited to the "1st republican presidential candidate debates, which, interestingly, was exactly as fun as it sounds.
...were asking the same question:who here doesn't believe in evolution? three of those men raised their hands. then one of those three men put his hand down and said: only joking."
To evolution:
"slap on the front of the bible saying: of course these could all be bullshit. maybe he never die.
ok it's just one man's opinion, maybe we can all fly. R Kelly believed it so. Why would he lie to us? What does he possible stand to gain?"
"i don't make up the rules. I just lived comfortably beneath them."
"To me, economy is like the Dutch language, i'm told it make sense. but i seriously have my doubts."
"you might look at the oreo pizza and think that is a reprehensible food stuff. i put it to you that is the single most patriotic item ive ever seen in my life.
hoist it up in the flat pole, ...have that fluttering over the moonlight of Yankee stadium,...because that's is the biggest imaginable fuck you you can possibly issue to terrorists.By hoisting the oreo pizza off a flat pole, what you essentially saying is: there is nothing you can do to us we are not already doing to ourselves."
"you can grab any FOX journalist, shake them backwards and forwards, and screaming to their faces:be worse, at your job. and they are entitled to look back at you and say:how? and you have nothing to say to them, other than perhaps ,good point."
"a constant question you get asked as a comedian by a journalist is always the same:when do you first realize you wanna be a comedian? you never hear :well , when all the career dreams my parents had for me die in a gutter like a fair ground fish. Of course the truth is no child wants to be a comedian. If you have a child who wants to be a comedian, you have a terrible child. Because when you are little, life is funny. I remembered the first time i saw an adult fall over, thinking, wow, maybe everything is gonna be alright."
"thank god, all of them, and of course the real one, whoever he, or indeed she, maybe im. joking of course, he."
Andy:" the terrorists hate our freedom, that's really all they get out of the bed in the morning, so our governments have been bravely removing thereby give them less to hate."
“The way the world it is now. Fiction has become more attractive than fact. That is why wikipedia is such a vital resource. It's way of completely rewriting our histories to get our children and our children's children a much better history to grow up with. We seems to be no intention to provide them with a future, let's at least give them a past. It is in a real sense the least we can do."
