There is no way to know what makes one thing happen and not another
你没有办法知悉未来会怎样
What leads to what
会通向何处
What destroys what
会毁掉何物
What causes what to flourish
会让什么得以兴盛
Or die
或灭亡
Or take another course
或选择另外的方向
What if I forgive myself
要是我原谅自己会怎样
What if I was sorry
要是我很遗憾会怎样
But if I could go back in time
不过即使我可以回到过去
I wouldn’t do a single thing differently
我还是会做同样的事情
What if I wanted to sleep with every single one of those men?
要是我确实想跟那些人上床呢
What if heroin taught me something?
要是海洛英教会我什么呢
What if all those things I did were the things that got me here?
要是我的所作所为才成就了现在的我呢？
What if I was never redeemed?
要是我永远得不到救赎呢？
What if I already was?
要是我已经得到了呢？
It took me years to be the woman my mother raised
我花了很多年时间，成为我妈妈培养的女人
It took me four years ,seven months and three days to do it
我花了四年七个月又三天才做到
Without her.
独自做到
After I lost myself in the wildness of my grief,
在我因悲伤迷失在荒野之中后
I found my own ways out of the woods.
我终于在森林中找回自我
And I didn’t know where I was going
直到徒步旅行的最后一天
Until I got there on the last day of my hike.
我才知道我的人生该如何前行
Thank you, I thought over and over again,
谢谢，我曾经一遍又一遍的思考
For everything the trail had taught me,
谢谢徒步旅行教我的东西
And everything I couldn’t yet know.
以及我还不知道的东西
How, in four years, I’d cross this very bridge,
四年后，我穿越这座大桥
I’d marry a man
我嫁给了一个男人
In a spot almost visible from where I was standing.
他离我站的地方并不远
How, in nine years, that man and I
九年后，我和那个男人
Would have a son named Carver,
生了一个儿子，名叫卡弗
And a year later,
再过一年
A daughter named after my mother, Bobbi.
生了一个女儿，以我妈妈的名字来命名，芭比
I knew only that I didn’t need to
我只知道我再也不用
Reach with my bare hands anymore.
伸手乞讨
That seeing the fish beneath the surface of the water was enough.
只要能看见水下的鱼儿就足够了
That it was everything.
那就是一切
My life, like all lives,
我的人生，跟所有生命一样
Mysterious, irrevocable and scared.
不可思议，无法改变而且神圣
So very close.
如此接近自我
So very present.
如此活在当下
So very belonging to me.
只属于自己
How wild it was to let it be.
曾如此疯狂
正片
